BEEFIN' (2009)

BEEFIN' (2009)

UHH IT WAS ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE INSIDE YOUR COMPUTER!!!

does anybody remember how
FUCKING AWESOME
this show was?


because i do.

MORPH (HAS-BEEN POP CULTURE ICONS WHO REMINDED ME OF MY FATHER WHEN I WAS A CHILD) PARTS 1-4 (2009)

(george lucas + burt reynolds + tom selleck + robin williams)



(george lucas + burt reynolds + tom selleck + ron jeremy)



(pringles man + george lucas + burt reynolds + tom selleck)



(pringles man + burt reynolds + the red baron pizza guy + robin williams)

SELF PORTRAIT (AS AN URBAN OUTFITTER CATALOG) (2009)

Self Portrait (As an Urban Outfitter Catalog) (2009)

INFORMATION INFORMATION INFORMATION INFORMATION INFORMATION INFORMATION INFORMATION INFORMATION INFORMATION INFORMATION

POLICY REGARDING THE ISSUING OF CERTIFICATES

Each of Carl Andre's sculptures must be accompanied by an original certificate issued by the artist which accompanies that work at each change of ownership. This certificate is the proof that it is a work created by Carl Andre and constitutes his signature and the only authentification of the sculpture. Sculptures without the original document issued by Carl Andre or the Carl Andre and Melissa L Kretschmer Foundation have no standing as works of Carl Andre.

Certificates for works are issued only after Carl Andre or the Foundation receives, in full, the proceeds from the sale of the work or, in the case that the work has been gifted, immediately after the work has been received by the giftee. In the event that an owner steps forward with a sculpture that has prevoiusly never been accompanied by one, a certificate may be issued after the following conditions have been met:

1. A complete provenance of the work in question must be supplied. This provenance must include a signed statement confirming the transfer of titlefrom each of the successive owners.

2. Carl Andre or a representative of the Carl Andre and Melissa L. Kretschmer Foundation must inspect the work.

CONDITIONS FOR THE REPLACEMENT OF LOST CERTIFICATES

If a certficate is lost, a statement of authenticity may be issued. Such a statement in no way constitutes an original certificate and may not be deemed or utilized as one. An original certificate is issued only once to the first owner and can never be replaced with another unique certificate. In the event that a statement of authenticity is requested, the following conditions must be met before it is issued:

1. A complete provenance of the work in question must be supplied. This provenance must include a signed statement confirming the transfer of title and certificate from each of the successive owners.

2. Carl Andre or a representative of the Carl Andre and Melissa L. Kretschmer Foundation must inspect the work.

3. A fee of two one-ounce Canadian gold Maple Leaf coins for issuing the first statement of authenticity, three such coins for the second, four coins for the third and so on, plus expenses, is payable to Carl Andre or the Carl Andre and Melissa L. Kretschmer Foundation. Such coins can easily be found and obtained online.

CONDITIONS FOR THE REPLACEMENT OF MATERIALS

In the event that the rightful owner of a work by Carl Andre feels it is necessary to replace the original material for reasons of weathering, damage, loss, etc., Carl Andre or a representative of the Carl Andre and Melissa L. Kretschmer Foundation must be consulted. Either Carl or a representative of the Foundation will be the sole determiner as to whether or not the material can be or will be replaced. Neither Carl Andre nor the Foundation is responsible for any form of abuse, loss, extreme damage or weathering incurred upon the work while in the possession of the owner.

Upon request to replace the materials the following steps must be taken:

1. A copy of the original certificate for the work must be provided.

2. Carl Andre or a representative of the Foundation must inspect the work.

3. Samples of replacement materials must be provided for approval.

4. A secondary inspection of the work installed in its new material 

must be made by Carl Andre or the representative.

5. The original certificate must be provided so that it can be 

amended to reflect the change in materials.

6. The Registry must be notified and provided with a new photograph of the work.

7. Carl Andre or the representative must be reimbursed for any and all 

travel expenses incurred while inspecting the work.

CLEANING MATERIALS

In general no works of Carl Andre should ever be ground down or abraded in any way. Works consisting of metal units can however be cleaned with a soft cloth and light machine oil or gun oil. While not required exclusively, an example of such an oil is 3-IN-ONE Oil. Inquiries regarding the cleaning of all other materials must be addressed to Carl Andre or the Carl Andre and Melissa L. Kretschmer Foundation. Neither Carl nor the Foundation is responsible for any damage incurred by improper cleaning or the mishandling of materials. 

INTEGRITY OF THE REGISTRY

To ensure the integrity of the confidential registry of the extant sculptures of Carl Andre, it is necessary to identify the owners of all works. Collectors may choose to be listed anonymously in the published catalogue derived from the registry. However, works which are owned by collectors who refuse to identify themselves for inclusion in the confidential registry will be deleted from the published catalogue. Information supplied to the confidential registry is never used for commercial purposes.

STATEMENT CONCERNING THE MEASUREMENTS OF CARL ANDRE SCULPTURES

In the Carl Andre Registry measurement conversion issues may create small discrepancies between the measurements indicated on the certificate and the other measurements of the sculpture. Typically, material originating in Europe will have measurements expressed in the metric system while those originating in the U.S. will have measurements expressed in the English system. Depending on the origin of the material, it may be the case that the Registry determines that the measurements of a work are more naturally expressed in one system over the other and will use the conversion. In so doing any discrepancies normally remain in the range of 2-3 mm (or 1/10 of an inch) or within the margin or error. In order to avoid any future controvercy, all certificates issued must adhere to the same measurements as appear in the Registry and cannot otherwise diverge.

 

 

I NEED A PLAN AGAIN

how could i justify pulling into my savings and working on art/writing fulltime?

thoughts?

last minute grant opportunities?

hello?

anyone there?

((edit: also will you let me sleep on your couch?))

POEM FOR YVES KLEIN (2009)

POEM FOR YVES KLEIN





IKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKB
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POEM FOR ROBERT RAUSCHENBERG (2009)

POEM FOR ROBERT RAUSCHENBERG















THIS IS A POEM FOR ROBERT RAUSCHENBERG IF I SAY SO.

confusion and a shift of pace

i can no longer

keep track of

my
references
appropriations
and
influences

because they always reveal themselves

covertly

in

indeterminate

ways

that

were

wholly

un
ex
pec
ted

from (my) intent
(sometimes)

NOTHING (2009)

NOTHING
(2009)

SEVERAL RECENT VISUAL COGNATES

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

eff ay

fuckin' a

best discovery of the morning

(funny as shit)

about 22 minutes long

but worth the time

check it




Alice in Wonderland or Who is Guy Debord? (2003) by Robert Cauble

from This One Goes Up to 11
curated by Nicholas Weist
for Why + Wherefore

as usual

i'm workin' hard at hardly workin'

it's vacation time

it's nice to be here with so few ppl around

just kickin' it

---

also

i just found this and i'm super into it

it certainly bringz da lolz

8 bit rap medley via here

TRACK LISTING
Jay-Z - Dirt off your shoulder
T.I. - What you know
Chamillionaire - Ridin'
Ludacris - What's your fantasy
Bonecrusher - Neva Scared
Kanye - Overnight Celebrity
Ludacris - Move Bitch
Lil' Jon - Get Low
Kanye - Gold Digger

i have nothing to say here

i watched the helicopter's spotlight
rooting around in the darkness
as i drove up the deegan
i keep hearing it circling overhead
(i think i'm going to move to queens)

savant
savant
ça va

(ça va)

boredom and the advent of the modern dance mashup

suddenly i feel like this blog is pretty fucking lame again
maybe it will get cooler once i get my head into/out of my books again/never

anyway

here are some things that i made
instead of writing about performance and proto-modern dance
and lesbianism and the scientific gaze
like i was supposed to

THE WONDERFUL, THE MARVELOUS, THE SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTING, THE INCINOLET

i have long fantasized about creating my own strawbale house
as a home or studio
in a remote, rural location

---

recently i looked more seriously into making this a possibility
this involved research into green plumbing and non-septic alternatives
subsequently, i came upon the
INCINOLET
which is FUCKING amazing

---

the primary users of this thing are scientists in remote locations
like astronomers and technicians who on microwave telescopes
they affectionately call it
"the turdburner"
(clearly a machine after my own heart)

---

anyway, i became obsessed with the incinolet for a short while
singing its praises and relatively low costs to anyone who would listen.

---

today, i found out that the artist
tom sachs
not only has a youtube channel
but also has a short video
dedicated
to the incinolet
enjoy

this is my last post about twitter for a while, i swear

the world seems stranger every day i live in it

i wish shaq had a livejournal

February 19th, circa 1-3 PM in phoenix, arizona.


shaq is already feeling a little depressed

shaq goes unrecognized in public

shag gets lonely

shaq makes desperate internet appeals for personal connection



the internet blows my mind

i have to admit that i am very surprised and somehow slightly dissappointed...

today i found out that bruce nauman is a heterosexual!

(!!!!)

(and married to susan rothenberg)

who'da thunkit?!

straight guy with a queer eye, fo sho.







...wait a minute...

...seriously?






what a prankster...

XHIBITS!