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Monday, May 17, 2010

LYFE OF THE MIND

oops. you accidentally deleted that novel you wrote while totally strung out on uppers. go directly to your sad place. do not pass go, do not collect $200.



Monday, December 7, 2009

DEMOGRAPHIX (2009)



artforum.com expands the editorial excellence of Artforum magazine by providing compelling and insightful art news, reviews, and information online. In addition to selected excerpts from the magazine, artforum.com has a host of Web-exclusive features, including its widely read diary Scene & Herd, as well as news and reviews that are updated each weekday. As a result, the site has become an essential resource for a growing art-world audience that is sophisticated, engaged, and poised to spend.

The artforum.com audience is:

58% male; 42% female
60% earn $50,000+; 35% earn $100,000+
73% between 25 and 44; 50% between 25 and 34
89% have completed college; 60% have done postgraduate work

81% regularly attend exhibitions and performances
74% attend the latest films
63% travel frequently
55% make art

81% plan to take a vacation
74% eat out regularly
52% will purchase art
51% intend to purchase furniture
48% anticipate making a financial investment
36% will likely visit a spa
34% plan to purchase a computer

1 out of 2 visitors comes several times a week if not every day
70% consider the site essential
84% describe the site as smart
90% are likely to recommend artforum.com to a friend

Saturday, October 10, 2009

HE WAS JUST TELLIN' DA TRUUF LOL


ok so i know this joke is HELLA old, but i was just cleaning out my computer and i found this image. its my favorite one of these, and i just couldn't allow myself to throw it away without putting it here...



Wednesday, October 7, 2009

LA FILLETE-EARPLUGS (COVER SONGS 2009)



its really more flaccid/downward turning but in the 3 seconds it takes for photobooth to snap the pic it gets right back up again :(

Sunday, July 5, 2009

MORPH (HAS-BEEN POP CULTURE ICONS WHO REMINDED ME OF MY FATHER WHEN I WAS A CHILD) PARTS 1-4 (2009)

MORPH (HAS-BEEN POP CULTURE ICONS WHO REMINDED ME OF MY FATHER WHEN I WAS A CHILD)  PART 1 (2009)

(george lucas + burt reynolds + tom selleck + robin williams)

MORPH (HAS-BEEN POP CULTURE ICONS WHO REMINDED ME OF MY FATHER WHEN I WAS A CHILD)  PART 2 (2009)

(george lucas + burt reynolds + tom selleck + ron jeremy)

MORPH (HAS-BEEN POP CULTURE ICONS WHO REMINDED ME OF MY FATHER WHEN I WAS A CHILD)  PART 3 (2009)

(pringles man + george lucas + burt reynolds + tom selleck)

MORPH (HAS-BEEN POP CULTURE ICONS WHO REMINDED ME OF MY FATHER WHEN I WAS A CHILD)  PART 4 (2009)

(pringles man + burt reynolds + the red baron pizza guy + robin williams)

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

INFORMATION INFORMATION INFORMATION INFORMATION INFORMATION INFORMATION INFORMATION INFORMATION INFORMATION INFORMATION





POLICY REGARDING THE ISSUING OF CERTIFICATES

Each of Carl Andre's sculptures must be accompanied by an original certificate issued by the artist which accompanies that work at each change of ownership. This certificate is the proof that it is a work created by Carl Andre and constitutes his signature and the only authentification of the sculpture. Sculptures without the original document issued by Carl Andre or the Carl Andre and Melissa L Kretschmer Foundation have no standing as works of Carl Andre.

Certificates for works are issued only after Carl Andre or the Foundation receives, in full, the proceeds from the sale of the work or, in the case that the work has been gifted, immediately after the work has been received by the giftee. In the event that an owner steps forward with a sculpture that has prevoiusly never been accompanied by one, a certificate may be issued after the following conditions have been met:

1. A complete provenance of the work in question must be supplied. This provenance must include a signed statement confirming the transfer of titlefrom each of the successive owners.

2. Carl Andre or a representative of the Carl Andre and Melissa L. Kretschmer Foundation must inspect the work.

CONDITIONS FOR THE REPLACEMENT OF LOST CERTIFICATES

If a certficate is lost, a statement of authenticity may be issued. Such a statement in no way constitutes an original certificate and may not be deemed or utilized as one. An original certificate is issued only once to the first owner and can never be replaced with another unique certificate. In the event that a statement of authenticity is requested, the following conditions must be met before it is issued:

1. A complete provenance of the work in question must be supplied. This provenance must include a signed statement confirming the transfer of title and certificate from each of the successive owners.

2. Carl Andre or a representative of the Carl Andre and Melissa L. Kretschmer Foundation must inspect the work.

3. A fee of two one-ounce Canadian gold Maple Leaf coins for issuing the first statement of authenticity, three such coins for the second, four coins for the third and so on, plus expenses, is payable to Carl Andre or the Carl Andre and Melissa L. Kretschmer Foundation. Such coins can easily be found and obtained online.


CONDITIONS FOR THE REPLACEMENT OF MATERIALS

In the event that the rightful owner of a work by Carl Andre feels it is necessary to replace the original material for reasons of weathering, damage, loss, etc., Carl Andre or a representative of the Carl Andre and Melissa L. Kretschmer Foundation must be consulted. Either Carl or a representative of the Foundation will be the sole determiner as to whether or not the material can be or will be replaced. Neither Carl Andre nor the Foundation is responsible for any form of abuse, loss, extreme damage or weathering incurred upon the work while in the possession of the owner.

Upon request to replace the materials the following steps must be taken:

1. A copy of the original certificate for the work must be provided.

2. Carl Andre or a representative of the Foundation must inspect the work.

3. Samples of replacement materials must be provided for approval.

4. A secondary inspection of the work installed in its new material 
must be made by Carl Andre or the representative.

5. The original certificate must be provided so that it can be 
amended to reflect the change in materials.

6. The Registry must be notified and provided with a new photograph of the work.

7. Carl Andre or the representative must be reimbursed for any and all 
travel expenses incurred while inspecting the work.


CLEANING MATERIALS

In general no works of Carl Andre should ever be ground down or abraded in any way. Works consisting of metal units can however be cleaned with a soft cloth and light machine oil or gun oil. While not required exclusively, an example of such an oil is 3-IN-ONE Oil. Inquiries regarding the cleaning of all other materials must be addressed to Carl Andre or the Carl Andre and Melissa L. Kretschmer Foundation. Neither Carl nor the Foundation is responsible for any damage incurred by improper cleaning or the mishandling of materials. 


INTEGRITY OF THE REGISTRY

To ensure the integrity of the confidential registry of the extant sculptures of Carl Andre, it is necessary to identify the owners of all works. Collectors may choose to be listed anonymously in the published catalogue derived from the registry. However, works which are owned by collectors who refuse to identify themselves for inclusion in the confidential registry will be deleted from the published catalogue. Information supplied to the confidential registry is never used for commercial purposes.

STATEMENT CONCERNING THE MEASUREMENTS OF CARL ANDRE SCULPTURES

In the Carl Andre Registry measurement conversion issues may create small discrepancies between the measurements indicated on the certificate and the other measurements of the sculpture. Typically, material originating in Europe will have measurements expressed in the metric system while those originating in the U.S. will have measurements expressed in the English system. Depending on the origin of the material, it may be the case that the Registry determines that the measurements of a work are more naturally expressed in one system over the other and will use the conversion. In so doing any discrepancies normally remain in the range of 2-3 mm (or 1/10 of an inch) or within the margin or error. In order to avoid any future controvercy, all certificates issued must adhere to the same measurements as appear in the Registry and cannot otherwise diverge.

 

 

Thursday, May 7, 2009

I NEED A PLAN AGAIN



how could i justify pulling into my savings and working on art/writing fulltime?

thoughts?

last minute grant opportunities?

hello?

anyone there?

((edit: also will you let me sleep on your couch?))

Sunday, May 3, 2009

POEM FOR YVES KLEIN (2009)




POEM FOR YVES KLEIN





IKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKB
IKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKB
IKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKB
IKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKB
IKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKB
IKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKB
IKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKB
IKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKB
IKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKB
IKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKB
IKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKB
IKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKB
IKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKB
IKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKB
IKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKB
IKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKB
IKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKB
IKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKB
IKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKB
IKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKB
IKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKB
IKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKB
IKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKB
IKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKB
IKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKBIKB






POEM FOR ROBERT RAUSCHENBERG (2009)



POEM FOR ROBERT RAUSCHENBERG
















THIS IS A POEM FOR ROBERT RAUSCHENBERG IF I SAY SO.















Monday, April 20, 2009

confusion and a shift of pace




i can no longer

keep track of

my
references
appropriations
and
influences

because they always reveal themselves

covertly

in

indeterminate

ways

that

were

wholly

un
ex
pec
ted

from (my) intent
(sometimes)

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

eff ay

fuckin' a

best discovery of the morning

(funny as shit)

about 22 minutes long

but worth the time

check it




Alice in Wonderland or Who is Guy Debord? (2003) by Robert Cauble

from This One Goes Up to 11
curated by Nicholas Weist
for Why + Wherefore

Monday, March 16, 2009

as usual


i'm workin' hard at hardly workin'

it's vacation time

it's nice to be here with so few ppl around

just kickin' it

---

also

i just found this and i'm super into it

it certainly bringz da lolz

8 bit rap medley via here




TRACK LISTING
Jay-Z - Dirt off your shoulder
T.I. - What you know
Chamillionaire - Ridin'
Ludacris - What's your fantasy
Bonecrusher - Neva Scared
Kanye - Overnight Celebrity
Ludacris - Move Bitch
Lil' Jon - Get Low
Kanye - Gold Digger